From Fan to Friend: What Caitlin Clark Taught Me About Jesus
I’ve been getting some surprising revelations about my relationship with Jesus lately… and oddly enough, they’ve come through Caitlin Clark.
Now hang with me here. I promise this isn’t about to go off the theological rails.
Caitlin and Jesus have something in common—stay with me—and it’s not a jump shot.
They’re both polarizing.
They’ve both exploded onto the scene with history-making accomplishments.
And no matter how much they achieve, there’s always someone dismissing their greatness or minimizing their story just to keep disliking them.
I first heard about Caitlin Clark because she was nearing the all-time NCAA scoring record. That caught my attention. I couldn’t have picked her out of a team photo, but I was drawn to the idea of a woman about to break a record that spanned across both men’s and women’s basketball. I wanted to witness the moment. I was sitting in Newark airport after leading a surf retreat when I saw the headline—she did it.
I clicked. Then I clicked again. Then my feed started filling up with Caitlin Clark content.
And next thing I knew, I was in.
I’ve followed her through the NCAA tournament, into the WNBA, through the media storms, and the opinions, and the endless comment sections. I’ve watched interviews, highlights, and even behind-the-scenes coverage. I feel like I know a lot about her.
But I don’t know her.
I wouldn’t invite her to coffee.
I wouldn’t ask her advice.
And I certainly wouldn’t expect her to be inviting me into anything.
That’s when it hit me.
There’s a subtle but dangerous error I can make in my relationship with Jesus.
I start to follow him like a fan.
I cheer him on, I get frustrated when people criticize him, I like defending him in public.
I follow people who post about him. I collect stories from the people who really seem to know him. I even study his stats—his miracles, his teachings, his movements.
And if I’m not careful, I’ll know a lot about him… without actually knowing him.
That’s the danger of a religious mindset. It rewards knowledge over connection.
It praises passion over closeness.
It knows how to honor the highlight reel, but it forgets to take the walk. It’s more focused on how I’m showing up than who HE is.
Even the people who crucified Jesus knew all about him.
They studied him. They followed him. They knew the prophecies.
They were intrigued, even impressed at times. But they didn’t get Him.
They didn’t recognize the invitations.
So lately, I’ve been making it personal again.
I’ve been asking myself how I give and receive love …how do I actually do relationships with the people I DO know well? My primary love language is quality time. So I started asking, What would it look like to love Jesus through that lens?
Here’s what quality time looks like for me:
Inviting Him to join me in everyday life
Accepting invitations to show up and be present
Telling stories, even though He already knows them
Chatting while I’m doing something I enjoy
Asking His opinion and offering mine
Taking time to pause and just be with Him
So I started doing those things …It’s not about checking spiritual boxes.
It’s about refusing to trade relationship for rituals.
Here are a few things that have helped me move from fan to friend:
1. Adapt your love language.
Make a list of how you love to give and receive love with people. Then ask how you could express or receive that kind of love with Jesus.
2. Ask him to coffee.
Or take a walk. Or sit in the quiet. Not to study. Not to be productive. Just to be. Expect him to meet you there.
3. Listen more than you talk.
Sometimes intimacy grows not through saying more, but by slowing down enough to notice his voice, his nudges, his invitations.
4. Stop outsourcing your relationship.
Books, podcasts, and sermons are awesome. But don’t let someone else’s intimacy become your substitute for your own. Let it stir you toward him, not just toward content.
5. Pay attention to the celebrity trap.
If your excitement about Jesus sounds a lot like how you follow your favorite athlete or artist—step back and ask if you’ve started trading relationship for rituals.
Jesus doesn’t need fans.
He’s after friends.
He doesn’t just want you to defend him.
He wants to walk with you.
“I no longer call you servants… Instead, I have called you friends.”
– John 15:15
So go ahead. Invite him for coffee.
He’s been waiting.
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