God Gave You the Vision — But Where’s the Provision?
I woke up at 3:41am in a cold sweat.
It wasn’t because of a dream, a mosquito, or some deep intercessory moment.
It was because I remembered I don’t actually know how I’m getting home.
Like, physically. On a plane. With tickets and money and all that.
And not only do I not know how I’m getting home, but I also somehow promised a few dozen fire survivors that we’d walk with them for years… help rebuild their lives… and make sure they know they’re not alone.
I rolled over and laughed into my pillow. Because that’s either faith… or it’s absolute madness.
And most days, I’m not totally sure which.
I want to help. That’s honestly where this all starts. And for many of us, it’s also where the pressure starts.
When I first began working with Chad Dedmon at Catch The Wave, I remember standing face-to-face with families who had lost everything. We weren’t there to preach sermons—we were there to discover the need and meet it. Not just today, but for years to come. And that sounds beautiful… until you hear the immediate need for today is $100,000 due to insurance delays and contractor deadlines.
I tried to manage my face and say something benign that would buy me time to think because I didn’t have $200 let alone $100k.
Chad never says, “Sorry, we can’t help.” And standing next to him, neither can I.
So I take one more step forward and trust, or try to trust, that God will fill the gap. That HE has the solutions and my job is simply to trust Him enough to focus on loving THIS PERSON like Jesus would.
But some nights? My mind doesn’t sleep.
My adrenaline shoots me wide awake and the accusations start shouting:
“You’re in way over your head.”
“You’re going to fail these people.”
“You shouldn't have promised anything you can’t control.”
It’s one thing to believe God will move. It’s another thing to stake your reputation on it.
The real crisis isn’t lack. It’s faith fatigue.
Here’s the lie I catch myself believing way too often:
If this were really God’s plan, wouldn’t it all be easier?
Funny, right? Because that’s literally the opposite of what a God-sized dream is.
A God-sized dream means it won’t work without miracles.
But when the miracles delay, it’s easy to start second-guessing everything.
Did I really hear God?
Did I just hype myself up?
Did I mismanage something and disqualify the promise?
And the funny part is… just a few nights earlier at a worship event, I was the guy with tears in my eyes and my arms in the air yelling:
“I don’t want to do anything that doesn’t require miracles”
😂😂
…Be careful what you pray for.
There’s no room in this type of life for performance. Because if the dream could be pulled off by strategy, charisma, and hustle, then it wouldn’t require Jesus. And that makes it the WRONG DREAM
And so I’ve learned (well - I’m learning) to build my days around Kingdom habits that pull me back to faith when fear gets loud.
Three Habits That Bring Me Back from the Brink
1. Make room for belief—even if it’s only 50 percent
Sometimes I can’t jump to total faith. But I can at least meet God halfway.
If I’m going to spend 50 percent of the day imagining why it might fall apart, then I’m also going to give 50 percent to imagining what it might look like when God shows up and everything works.
On my best days, I sit with that vision until I feel the peace of it.
Then I ask: What would I do today if I truly believed that’s how this ends?
That question often sparks a small, simple step forward, and that step builds momentum.
2. Revisit the prophetic words that anchored the call
I’ve got recordings. I’ve got notes. I’ve got moments that marked me.
When I start spiraling, I hit play.
I let those words reconnect me to the clarity I felt when I first said yes.
It’s not hype. It’s history. It’s remembering what God said when I was listening without fear.
3. Let Whitney in
I’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t a liability. It’s a lifeline.
When I let Whitney in on the doubt and the overwhelm, it does two things.
Sometimes it’s another set of trusted eyes (and a trusted heart) looking at the situation and she spots solutions I may have missed
Way more importantly - that vulnerability CONNECTS us and it’s easy to remember that I’m not alone.
And that reminder, that I have a teammate, can calm my heart more than any solution ever could.
You’re Not Failing. You’re Just off the bench and in the game.
If you're a missionary and your brain won't shut off at night
If you're second-guessing the God-idea that once had you on fire
If you're secretly wondering if you're in way over your head
You're not weak.
You're just on the frontlines of a dream that requires God to show up.
So GOOD JOB!!!
Try this:
Agree to “equal airtime” …the future is imagined, so agree that if you’re going to spend time imagining it is terrible, then spend at least equal time imagining it's amazing. What if it works? Seriously …what if you actually succeed?
Remember where your ‘yes’ came from. If prophetic words aren’t your style, what scripture reminds you of your call? What prayer by you or over you perked up your ears and stirred your spirit to say, “God - you’ve got my attention.”
Be vulnerable with some trusted humans you can share the journey with. And if you don’t have one - call me!!
Rally Point Is Here for That
At Rally Point Network, we don’t just offer missionaries a place to crash. We offer a place to reset while you’re still in the middle of the mission.
A place where you don’t have to carry it alone.
A place full of people who’ve said the big yes and now need a breath to remember why.
If you’ve had a few sleepless nights lately
You’re not failing. You’re just following Jesus into the deep end.
Let us walk with you there.
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